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Toni and Adam Bellamy are 4th generation independent liquor merchants. Their family has been providing the public with quality wines and ales almost since the dawn of time. Purveyors of the most commodified of liquor products to the specialisations of each brother. Toni, wine. Adam, Beer. Our blog is to update you on current musings, opinions and events at Platinum Liquor.

Monday, 14 November 2011

Letter To The Prsident

Dear Mr Obama,

I like you. I actually really do. This is indeed rare.

Please excuse my terrible grammar, spelling and construction of this very informal letter.

I, like you, have really never had a real job.

However, like a certain 'Beckham'.
People, and I mean lost of people, do make me hate you. Intellectual lefties with spectacles who wear shirts with your face on it, everybody who works for the ABC and just people who have no idea about how the American political landscape or process works, however love you way too much. Somehow, they will work out that inevitably you are just another politician.

You seem like a really nice guy, swell even. And seem to have an aurora about you.

However, this doesn't stop you from being a bit of a socialist.
But I would never let that get in the way of a game of 'ball', conversations about Cody Chesnutt, Wu Tang Clan (things that I know you cant tell anybody you like because that will piss off your politically white correct upper middle class liberal government worker/journalist voters), Hot Doug's hot dogs in Chicago, Mother In Law tamales, Deep Dish Chicago style Pizza or most important of all, beer.

It has come to our attention that Australia and the USA are in 'Free Trade' talks?

Well, you have (not) asked the right person.

We will give you, let's say. Steve Irwin, Paul Hogan, that woman from the first 'Transformers' movie, that other woman with blonde hair who is skinny with big boobs and was gobbing that singer from 'Charlotte' band something, Yellow Tail wine, lots and lots of Kangaroos (don't tell your mates that we eat and cull them, YUM) and possibly an EMU (you could try eating that, however I think it might just end up tasting like chicken), hats with corks around the rim, stubbie coolers. The list could go on and on.

In return, I think you should open your doors to all your craft brewers. Big, small and in between. We'll love and cherish them all. Hell, I don't even mind if you throw in some Blue Moon.

Fair Trade right??

Ok, and maybe some of your sweet sweet sweet cheap petrol.

Obviously this is not how a free trade agreement works. But considering, this is how most people I know would consider international politics to work. Lets just go with it!

I hope you have a fantastic time in our country and please. I know you love burgers, do try one with beetroot, pineapple and an egg. Sounds a bit crap, but it is nice.

Also, before I go, please let me apologise for Julia. As you have might have worked out, she is a total idiot.
And don't be offended when she asks here body language and speech therapists for the answer to any number of simple gripping questions you ask like, "how many days in a week?".
It's true what they say, simpletons do have their charm.

Yours Faithfully.


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