Dear St Bernardus Abt 12,
We met at a funny stage in my life. I was looking for new experiences. We met by chance one evening and dare I say with a lot of notoriety.
People were saying how wonderful you were, how I just “had” to get my hands and lips around you.
Maybe I was off my game that night.
But things are always relative with me, and with so many people talking you up*, I already had a chip on my shoulder and something of a score to settle with you.
You were aloof, dry and earthy beyond repair. You made my experience and relationship with Quads even more distant, difficult and strained.
You were dry and oh so dirty (dirty in a ‘wet concrete’ kind of way) fruits and spices subdued to the over powering display of your yeast profile.
Char, ash and waves of tobacco and ashtray. You were showing off in all the wrong areas.
You were showing off your breasts when really it was your bum that was amazing.
You were everything I’ve had and noting I wanted.
To be honest, you were actually a bit of a dud root.
“I’ve had better” sprang to mind when I finished you off, with the last warms sips from my tulip.
You had left a dirty taste in my mouth and I had almost lamented going all the way with you.
You had confirmed all my suspicions of being over priced, obtuse and coming across highly overrated.
I’ve tried to be a better person about it, you still make it awkward when we see each other out.
The less said about our quickie the better. There are still some people that rate you, to this very day.
They are also the very same people who would still want to have sex with Kim Kardashain, even though we have all discovered that she is actually a prodigious potentially STD laden slag.
Catch ya round, Adam
*After 1945, the Trappist Monastery St. Sixtus decided it would stop the sale of its beer.An agreement was reached where inside the walls of the Monastery the monks would brew only beer for their own consumption but would sell to the public at the gates of the Monastery and also for a few taverns connected to the Monastery.
A contract was agreed in 1962 With the Watou Brewery which brewed and sold the Trappist Beers under license. In 1992, the agreement came to an end because the Trappist Monasteries (6 in Belgium and 1 in the Netherlands) decided that the qualification ‘Trappistenbier’ could only be given to beers brewed inside the walls of the Trappist Monastery. Since 1992 the beers brewed in Watou are sold under the new brand name of ‘St Bernardus‘.
The "St Bernardus" range is considered by fools as a close match in recipe and style to the St Sixtus (aka Westvlertran 8 and 12) beers.