How Big Those Boots Are?

Now that another beer week is over. And the gratuitous backslapping and the ever-growing circle gathering of simultaneously jerking each other off have stopped for the least little while.

Most brewers can go back to bitching about each other, and especially each other’s beers and brewery.

C’mon, you know who you are. Don’t be shameful now.

But this is beside the point; I was just being churlish, in highlighting the sometimes-fake camaraderie that is out there.

But it touches on a more contentious issue that I have wanted to address for some time now.

I don’t know about you, but lately some brewers I have met have been a little full of themselves.



As my mother would say, “getting a little to big for your boots”.

“I don’t know if you know mate, but I’m (were) actually a bit of a big deal these days”

A brewer has said this to me. And it was from a prominent highly regarded brewery. Not a shit one.

That kind of talk not only does not sway me, it actually makes me kind of hate you. Kind of a lot.

That has brought me to pen this open letter.

Dearest Brewers (including sales reps for those brewers) of Australia,

Read this back to yourself over and over. Preferably looking in the mirror.

“I am more than replaceable”

“I am MORE than replaceable”

“I am MORE than REPLACEABLE”

It can be more than right to ponder that it’s just as easy for me to replace you with – Insert really well made, sometimes brilliantly made, slick looking, well priced American/NZ/European craft beer here -.

I have chosen not to go down this path, and for good reason. The beers I carry, I like and I carry because I want to support. Not only because they of quality but ultimately and unfortunately, like the rest of us, I’m somewhat patriotic.

If you could see, some brewers I talk to, act like they are on par Dan Carey or Jean-Louis Dits (yes, you will have to look them up if you don’t know).

And NO ONE and I MEAN NO ONE in this country are making beer like Dan Carey or Jean-Louis Dits.

When I went to the United States and visited all the brewers, which you all now dream off.

Every single brewer was honored, humbled and totally genuine in their awe that I had heard of their brewery and their beers, that I mad my way over from the other side of the planet to pay a visit (I know for a fact, that next time I go to the United Sates and I visit Jeremy Danner, we’ll mix and drink KC Pils with San Pellegrino Pompelmo (80/20 splt) radlers and attend goat races.

What?).

They didn’t brush me off, they didn’t reassure me that they were the beginnings of a celebrity chef, they….

They…

They… Basically didn’t come across as some spoilt brat who had thought they were gods gift, because they have some un-quantified legion of followers in a country of 23m people.

Now, I’m ALL for talking up the industry, lord and the rest of your know that I’m passionate about the industry growing (in the right) direction.

Even some of those ghastly put together articles in :

-Time Out magazine (“Well, I’ve like had Stone & Wood like heaps of times when I’m out at The Courthouse in Newtown”),

-Beer and Brewer Magazine (“Lets talk about the craft beer in Guatemala and/or Nicaragua”),

-Or the ‘sometimes I really can’t be bothered anymore’ articles from Willie in the Good Living Guide in SMH (“this brew is malt’nnn hoppy – it’s ok”).

Ok, and maybe I’m to blame too.

Maybe some of the sycophantic attention-seeking people on twitter are to blame.

If they only were to take their precious swirling saliva ridden tongues away from the rear orifice (commonly known as sphincter) of some brewers.

However, if they just stood back and just acted like a normal appreciative adult, it wouldn’t be the case so much.

“So loving this beer right now”

“BEST. BEER. EVER”

“Cant live my life without this IPA”

Someone actually refereed to a gathering of some brewers last week as a gathering of rockstar brewers.

I beg your pardon, son. Tuck that attitude right back in.

Never would there be such an immature, churlish and irresponsible way to brand some brewers who make decent beers

(for me , it sums up most people who are “INTO” craft (urgghh) beer at the moment.

Lacking perspective).

And I get it; if people liked my balls and told me I was fantastic all the time.

I would be a cocky motherfucker too.

Usually within about 2 minutes, I can tell if I’m going to get along with a brewer or not. Usually 50% of this formula comes down to his beers.

I’ve definitely noticed, that all the brewers I do get along with make beers of quality and integrity and always want to just have a laugh.

Not tell me about their recent article featured in Qantas magazine.

Brewers. The trick is, to remember that great beers are hard to make-work; good business relationships are even harder to make-work.

So, some of you, please don’t be twats.

Most of you are more than replaceable.

At the moment.

Yours Faithfully

Adam Bellamy
Bruce Wayne-esque Figurehead Of Platinum Liquor
169 Concord Rd, Nth Strathfield 2137- 02 9743 1572
25a Bellevue Rd, Bellevue Hill 2023 - 02 9389 3875
platinumliquor.com
https://twitter.com/#!/Platinum_Liquor