About Me

My photo
Toni and Adam Bellamy are 4th generation independent liquor merchants. Their family has been providing the public with quality wines and ales almost since the dawn of time. Purveyors of the most commodified of liquor products to the specialisations of each brother. Toni, wine. Adam, Beer. Our blog is to update you on current musings, opinions and events at Platinum Liquor.

Wednesday, 18 May 2011

Crown Royal Pain in the Arse - One Man's Insane Rant is Another Man's Gospel

Growing up, like most of us.
I have made a magnitude of bad choices. Not 'boosting cars' bad choices, but poor choices in taste and music.
However some of the choices, not matter how bad they seem, I accept as my own and if they are the one true defining moment of me becoming the quasi-psychotic person I am today, than I stick by those choices.

Take Music.

Growing up being slightly off centre and having no reason to be, there were certain things that a boy grew towards, Rap music and filthy mid 90's RnB.

I know, I know. Terrible.

Ever heard of Next? Or Donell Jones? You should be glad if you haven't.

However in the quiet moments, this is music that I still sometimes listen to, that transports me to a time when I didn't know what or who.

2pac was part of that world. His angry visceral verses and catchy chorses stuck with me. Angry, Why? it doesn't matter.

He was a literal wrecking ball, and I loved it.

There is no person that hasn't heard the infamous cult 'diss' song "hit em up"

(The song "hit em up" diss song by rap artist 2Pac (Tupac Shakur), featuring his group the Outlawz. It is the B-side to the single "How Do U Want It", released on June 4, 1996, from the album All Eyez on Me. The song’s lyrics contain vicious insults to several East Coast rappers, chiefly among them, Shakur's former friend and rival, The Notorious B.I.G., also known as Biggie. it has been stated that no one had seen Shakur so angry and that the words he rapped were in no way an act.
In "Hit 'Em Up", the word "f@&k" and "motherf*$@er" were used explicitly over thirty-five times)

without thinking, "Jeez, that boy is super angry and is hell bent on doing something about it".

YouTube it. With caution.

Which brings me neatly to the of anger, filth, utter disrespect and contempt that I hold Fosters or Carlton United Breweries and their fake wanna be waste of time "me too", sometimes infected wretched 'Crown Ambassador'.

The email I received from my Fosters rep (from which I might add is one of the best rep's I've had in years) reads like the application for attempting to line up at a Douchbag night club like 'ivy', where incidentally enough, you get ripped off there too.

It also adds that they want the beer to be retailed around "$99+".

What!

If you listen to "hit em up", it merely covers the rage and audacity I hold for these blood suckers.

Anyone willing to pay $100 for a beer brewed by Fosters.

All I have to say that's it time to bend over and touch your ankles, guys.

I know I have a hard line, I'm slightly worried/ proud of it. I know there will be the sympathisers that claim that their beer will turn someone onto drinking better beer.

What beer? Fat Yak? Get F%*@%ed.

For all those in the beer industry big into being naive.

You know that sweet Holgate brew you sunk down last week that tasted so very mighty fine??? News flash, if Fosters or Tooheys had their way, they would put Paul Holgate out of business with out blinking an eyelid.

Your a Homebrewer, entertaining the thought of one day having your own brewery?

Believe it or not, before you even start, they want you out of business.

Fosters and Tooheys, they don't like Murray Howe, that want to put him out of business.

My family has dealt with Fosters and Tooheys for more than 40 years and the only thing they are interested is having supreme market share and f@%king everyone else no matter the cost to get there.

If I was related to Fosters corporate personnel, I wouldn't leave them in the room with our grand mother because he would sell her too, for a bigger slice of the market pie.

Of course, there will be all the media personnel that will say it's all OK because while they are getting the Fosters fecal matter out of the mouth just quickly enough to try the beer (a bottle received for free from Fosters might I add) they have suddenly been enlightened with a case of consciousness.

I would almost crawl on broken glass to the gates of hell before selling that rubbish. Some would call me extreme, outrageous, badly and wrongly opinionated.

All those accusations would and are true, however I will always have the balls to call an ace a spade.

No comments:

Post a comment